To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by doing so you will heap burning coals on his head.”

Romans 12:20

Sometimes God asks us to do things that feel completely upside down—like being kind to someone who has hurt us. But this verse isn’t new advice. Paul is echoing Proverbs 25:21–22, reminding us that God’s people have always been called to respond to others with mercy, even when it feels undeserved.

And that phrase “heaping coals of fire on his head” isn’t about hurting someone back. In ancient times, hot coals symbolized repentance or deep inner conviction. Some even connect it to an old Egyptian custom where a person would carry a pan of hot coals on their head as a sign of remorse. In other words, our kindness can gently lead someone to see their behavior differently—and maybe even turn toward God.

A woman named Sarah worked in an office where one coworker, Lisa, often made snarky comments about her. Nothing huge—just little digs that stung over time. Sarah tried to ignore it, but it wore on her.
One morning, Sarah felt nudged to do something simple: she brought in an extra coffee. When she got to work, she placed it on Lisa’s desk and said, “I remembered you liked this flavor, so I grabbed one for you.”
Lisa froze. For the first time in months, she looked genuinely soft. Later that afternoon, she quietly apologized for the way she had been acting. She admitted she’d been going through a messy season at home and had been taking it out on people without realizing it.

One small act of kindness broke down a wall that defensiveness never could. Sarah didn’t excuse the hurt, but she allowed kindness to lead the way—and God did the rest.

This week, think of one person who has been difficult for you lately—someone who drains you, frustrates you, or has been a little sharp around the edges. Instead of reacting the same way, choose one simple act of kindness toward them this week.

It doesn’t have to be big. A kind text. A warm tone. A small favor. A thoughtful gesture. Just one small step that says, “I’m choosing grace today.”